Written by me
When I fly, I'm a recliner. I don't care how long the flight is - five minutes or five hours - as soon as we're airborne, I'm reclining my seat. In fact, I don't even wait to get on board; I practise on three adjacent…
Saturday, 7pm. The phone rang as I was working on my new book, My 10 Greatest Life Insurance Sales - to Churchill, Stalin, Hitler, Genghis Khan, Henry VIII ("You've got to have 'Wife Life', Your Majesty! Have you ever thought what would happen if one…
Last week I flew to Toronto for the world's largest life insurance sales convention. The good citizens of the city had plenty of advance warning and had already fled en masse south to the American border before the 9,000 crack salesmen and women, from over…
One evening in January, in a bar in Marylebone, I got talking to a Norwegian businessman and his English girlfriend. His name was Bjorn and, like all Scandinavians, he was a very tall, modest, quiet man. So it was only after a few drinks that…
I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned before that I’ve got a monkey living in my flat. I bought him last summer in Bourne End. The statisticians among my readers will, I am sure, be able to confirm a spike in road accidents on the M4…
I got an email on Tuesday from someone called Phil from Wales. “Please can I come and have a look at your watering can?” I live in a third floor flat — I don’t have a garden. I’d been passing a famous London auction room…
How long could I hold out before the banks of the Regents Park Canal burst and reached my third floor flat? If just one drop of water got into my BlackBerry, my life would be over. I glanced down— its red light was still flashing.…
The news last week that millions of Flushmate (model 111 ) toilets in the US are being recalled because they can explode, not only sent tremors down the toilet world but it’s also worrying for the 300 million Americans who go to the toilet. Toilets…
London’s flooded with Russian oligarchs — but can you find an oligarch when you want one? No, you can’t. I’ve been looking for one for over two years —hoping to find even a little oligarch to whom I can sell a billion-dollar life insurance policy:…
Last week, I was standing at the counter of my local café, just about to pay the bill for my breakfast, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned round to see Si, a friend who’s a famous TV pundit, about to sit…